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By the time highschool ended I had already become some sort of urban legend. There were rumors of many incidents that involved me, directly or indirectly, that made people believe there was some kind of curse around me. The truth is I never did half the things they swore they had seen me do, and the other half was altered and exagerated. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the status and the power that came with it: some feared me, some worshipped me, many hated me, but all of them respected me.

Now, all legends have some truth to them, and my case wasn’t at all the exception. I was always seen as the beautifulest encarnation of corruption, some kind of sick fallen angel. I posessed a number of intrisic qualities that awarded me with that mysterious and unholy condition. My mouth was lust and hatred at the same time, my eyes were just like dead sweetness, my voice was so harsh and apathetic that every word sounded like the beautifulest song. Both men and women wanted me, but not many were screwed up enough to do something about it.

I wasn’t all about appearances and perceptions though. Sure, I was the strange girl who would dress like a man from monday to friday and appear at a party wearing only a tiny black dress and lipstick, capturing all the looks. I was that girl, but I didn’t do it for exhibitionism, I did it because I was a hunter. I would come home with someone everytime, even though my standards were high. I prefered girls, but they were harder to trap, so sometimes I had to settle down with a man. Once in my room, I would get high and devour my catch, and throw them out once I was satisfied. Of course, that got me a reputation and some people assumed I was going to be their personal whore. I’d take those to my room like the last time and fuck them in a way that left them traumatized and scared of women for the rest of their lives.

I used my reputation to my advantage. Once, a guy paid me enough money to buy a new vinyl dress and a good 15 grs. of angel dust just to fuck his straight girlfriend while he watched. I appeared at his place while they were making out, and after he convinced her to stay (even though “that evil whore was there”) I proceded to seduce her. I just sat next to her and started singing songs I had learnt when I was a little girl, very quietly. Once she was under my spell I started rubbing her thigh while whispering the dirtiest sweet things to her ear. Moments later I had two fingers up her asshole and my tongue buried in her cunt while she screamed obscenities. She broke up with him the next day and stalked me for days until I got sick of fucking her and told her to kill herself. She did it.

She wasn’t the only one to meet tragedy because of me. My neighbour lost his wife, his children, his job (he was a congressman), and the respect of the entire community because I told everyone how he forced me to suck his cock at least once a week. He started thinking he was in control, that\'s why I did it. No one believed I had been forced, not even my parents, but I wasn’t expecting them to do so anyway and the fact that I was only seventeen was enough to do the trick. A girl beat me up with a baseball bat once, she cornered me as I escaped from home to go to a concert, accusing me of having casted a black magic spell on her, which was ridiculous. Three months later her boyfriend put her in the hospital after I put a drug in his drink and told him she had been cheating on him with his step-father. Some people say that everyone who ever fucked me died young, accidents or diseases. I know it’s part of the myth, but who knows.

By the end of the summer I had dissapeared and people seemed to want to forget about me. Every now and then kids would talk about the cursed girl who was in their same school; how she was sent to a mental ward five years ago after video-taping her friend killing herself. All I can say about that is, she was going to do it anyway, I just wanted something to remember her. She was a good girl, I loved her, but if she didn\'t kill herself I was going to do her the favor, her life was horrible and I couldn\'t bare watching her.

I\'ve never tried to analize my past actions, and I never will. It\'d be a useless waste of time. I only sit, waiting until it\'s time to return to life, and dwell. You would dwell too, if you had had such a beautiful nightmare/life.
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Popotito Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2006   Writer
Hey, I like this story a lot. It has a lot of history behind the main character. I'll put it on my favorites! I'm gonna read the rest of your writings. They look promising.
ecal55 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005
woao i whatched the avatar and i said, lets see.....
and then i read this and i said.......woao good conection with your thoughts to do what you just did, maybe they are true or lies, but i really like that story, maybe because i tend to write like that or maybe because i want to be cursed by you.... no one knows, in the end i will go on and..... who cares. good work.
KillMeHarder Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2005
I wish i could write like that.
that prose, is better than an episode of daria.
love it, love her, love your stuff
KillMeHarder Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2005
no probs
love what you do!:) :D :) :D
india Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2005
bleeding-tart Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2005
i can not beleive that i found literary enlightenment on the internet. never before. you have fucking made my day
india Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2005
I'm glad I did.
termite-of-justice Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2005
This is a marvelous piece; wonderfully written.
My first thoughts were "Awesome!" but, then again, that was my first reaction when one of my friends told me that he masturbated while he was in the hospital--and ejaculated into one of the doctor's blue latex gloves.
I like the arrogance you portrayed throughout the whole thing.
I think the last line would be stronger if you didn't have the choice--if you took one of the two words ('nightmare' or 'life') out.
bleeding-tart Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2005
hahahahah thats fucking great
termite-of-justice Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2005
I'm glad you think so. :aww:
darkandlight Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2003   Photographer
interesting style, good job
phil-light Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2003  Hobbyist General Artist
strangely engrossing. when i started reading, i had decided to hate this and all it stands for and go shine my shoes....

but by the end i was thoroughly involved. good work.

opiateburn Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2003
We are living this myth with no solid answers to our being or our action. I ask myself at why live when I'm just living to die. Each moment we have another choice and who is to say what is wrong and what is right. We hang on opinion and are driven by the thought of others. Reasons are pointless to try to explain we need to live for the moment and not dwell on the past. Fuck, shit happens and we have no control and the control we think we have is nothing but a meek illusion. Travelling through time, minute by minute. We just are, fuck society. Love your work.

india Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2003
thank you.
opiateburn Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2003
thank you back
xpaperdolldecayx Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2003
Very nice. Very sadist.
Wonderfully written.
I really like it.:D

evilfaeries Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2003   Writer
Of course, that got me a reputation and some people assumed I was going to be their personal whore. I’d take those to my room like the last time and fuck them in a way that left them traumatized and scared of women for the rest of their lives.

omfg. im in shock. +fav
this shit is fucking wild... wow.. and sadly enough, i wish my life was like that :/
rocks Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003
Obscenity is only good when it comes from beauty, innocence, purity, goodness, or shit like that. When there's some jerk ass-hole who sprinkles his vocabulary with four letter words it just becomes tasteless, not good, un-artistic obscenity. The character depicted here is such a bitch. I like her! I occasionally write stuff similar to this, maybe I should start submitting some of it.
noctambula Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2003
india Featured By Owner May 29, 2003
fuck that. obscenity is good.
popejoan Featured By Owner May 29, 2003   Photographer
a fascination i cannot reach....
phill-munky Featured By Owner May 27, 2003
You mean "most beautiful," not "beautifulest." isn't a word

Dark = good
Peverted = bad
[Your Piece] = both

Very much good. Naughty topic, well written. Kinda like professional porn. Heh heh. *is being percieved as pervert*
rainsymphony Featured By Owner May 27, 2003
Beautiful, I love it. However I think is a bit obscene, and you could change this by replacing profanity with haunting words, more precise and ....why not....words that display an image. Profanity really contrasts with the whole mysterious concept of the "cursed" girl....makes her look like nothing but a bad ass. Still I think the flow of the story is great, and the repeated suicidal parts are also kewl. I dont think many people have that dark sense of humor, and such passion for death that I appreciate so dearly and that you display in this work. Great!!
darkenedserenity Featured By Owner May 26, 2003
fauxgravity Featured By Owner May 25, 2003

does there have to be a point? does there have to be beauty? you say no, and if you want to tell it then i want to listen. you hang out with the wrong crowd, suck a lollipop baby
spinning-plates Featured By Owner May 24, 2003   Writer
I love the arrogant style behind the narration. So darkly erotic, yet some parts were humorous in a dark way that you don't want to laugh at but you still do. Like when she convinced the girl to kill herself, and taped her friend killing herself. I laughed out loud. It's clever how you portrayed dark things in a humorous light.

This is one of the best pieces of prose I've read here in a while. You keep getting better with each submission that I read.
paulscha Featured By Owner May 23, 2003   Photographer
1) I don't automatically assume this is your life. If it is, and its important for me to know that, i think you will tell me.

2) It's late, so forgive me if this seems banal, but i was immediately reminded of the 'bad girl' in "Girl Interrupted."

3) It's a gorgeous piece of writing. Everything commenter #7 objects to is just what I like about it.

4) I was grateful for your comment on my hangman piece. now i am more grateful, because the comment made me come and check out your gallery.

I like this a lot.
thetitanoflaplace Featured By Owner May 22, 2003
You tell your llife to no one in particluar. You fluant a past that few would care to listen to. What exactly do you seek from all of this? A life lived like this contributes nothing to the world. You are nothing more than pestilence floating in cold bitter wind. I am sorry you live this life. And I want to try and wish a peace over you and your life. Godspeed, india.
killcapital Featured By Owner May 22, 2003

I enjoyed reading this very much, especially closer to the end.
Like a vaccum sucking me into this state of delirium.
Life can be a hard thing to deal with and these problems are everywhere.
Some can deal, some can't.
Others have to.

Sick like the mad cow, this is.

interzonepolice Featured By Owner May 21, 2003  Professional General Artist
hm. highly interesting. enjoyable read. maybe i'll stick this in my favorites even.
groovus Featured By Owner May 21, 2003
This is hard to comment. It's so dark and realistic that I feel challenged by her (you?).

Is giving in to circumstantial leads to a powertrip really such a reward? I can't tell, because every time that I discovered that I was on such a path I left it. To later on return on it again. Not because I wanted to take such a trip, merely an outcome of how I can be. Which to me is always a valid motive. You do what you can whenever you can, which suffices as validation. If you do things beyond your power you will always pay sooner or later. It's as simple as the fact that everything seems to have a downside, unless of course you are able to do so. Not even willing will stand in the way of ability. It seems to seek its own path. But there is a want (I call it a higher form of willing) to focus ability for moments of pure survival.

What you have portrayed here is someone who has developed a method. But she does not yet seem or want to understand what really lies behind the ability. However with a mentality that is apt to ability yet in refusal to act on behalf of necessity. I am intrigued nevertheless.

Great writing style, sober and to the point, void of all that is ornamental.
fragil Featured By Owner May 21, 2003
tu ya sabes, +fav
india Featured By Owner May 21, 2003
you know who you are. i dont though.
india Featured By Owner May 21, 2003
intrisic=intrinsic* oops. fuck you.
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